Captaincy of AI

If we don’t captain AI, it will captain us.

The elephant in the room is this: how can we talk about captaincy when it seems like AI might take it away?

Will we still be making our own decisions? Will we still have jobs? When algorithms start shaping every part of our lives, from what we see, to how we work, to who we trust, where’s the space for autonomy?

Will this chapter be out of date months after publication?

Where are we with artificial intelligence right now? It’s already here, and part of most of our days. Whether we’re asking it to rewrite an email, letting it recommend songs, or using it to summarize a meeting, AI is quietly doing the work we used to think only humans could do. And the pace isn’t slowing down.

We can’t opt out. Avoiding AI now is like trying to avoid electricity. It’s now a utility, especially in knowledge work and in becoming efficient and effective in life administration.

These days, AI is starting to feel like a partner.

Many of us are using AI every day, sometimes even without realizing it! It’s not only replacing search engines, writing assistants, and customer service agents; the question is what isn’t it changing. I’m consulting in startups that are looking at physical AI, meaning it won’t be just digital but all kinds of humanoid and other robotic applications.

The early adopters are already miles ahead. And even for the rest of us, its presence is becoming ambient. Like the internet in the 2000s, it’s simply becoming part of the atmosphere.

Yuval Noah Harari offers a stark perspective. In Nexus, he describes how AI, biotechnology, and big data are converging, forming a triad that may reshape humanity itself. These technologies will solve problems, and they could also change the way we think and the choices we make. Harari also warns us to look carefully at the ethics: who owns these tools? Who gets to decide how they’re used? And what happens if they’re used to manipulate, not liberate?

That’s not scaremongering; it’s the context for captaincy.

So, what do we do? Avoid it? Limit it? Embrace it? All those responses make sense, but none of them can be passive. If AI is going to be in our lives, we need to be in the driver’s seat, especially as AI starts to feel more like a relationship than a tool.

You already have a relationship with AI!

The question is: what kind?

Think about the relationships we have with things that aren’t human. Pets. Money. Our phones. They shape us in subtle but real ways.

Our family has little doggies, Shih Tzus. Our connection isn’t human, but it’s real. And money, well, that’s another relationship. For some people, it brings freedom. For others, anxiety. But in both cases, it acts on us. It influences our decisions and shapes our emotions.

AI might become just as emotionally potent, not just on the fringes with chatbots, which range from great to annoying. But it could be the most important relationship we have.

Maybe we’ll even start to trust it like we trust people. Already, versions of AI are at the point where they can pass the Turing Test. This is a test established to see if a human can detect whether they’re talking to a human or a machine.

We might soon be talking to an AI and not even know it. The implications are huge. If we can’t tell whether we’re dealing with a machine or a human, we need a new kind of captaincy altogether.

And that’s where fear creeps in.

We fear what we don’t understand. Especially when it’s powerful. Especially when it can act on its own.

What happens if AI harms our finances? Or ruins our reputation? Who takes the blame? Who sets the rules? Who enforces them? Mustafa Suleyman, in The Coming Wave, raises these very questions. He warns that containment may no longer be possible. Too many incentives are pushing AI forward: corporate, political, scientific. Slowing down isn’t profitable.

So how do we lead in a space where we’re not in control?

Captaincy means setting the terms even when you’re not holding the wheel.

That’s the pivot. We don’t have to drive every decision AI makes. But we do need to be intentional about our engagement.

Think of it like elevators. At one time, people were scared of elevators without operators. Can you believe that? People wouldn’t go into an elevator if there wasn’t a person there to press the buttons. It took a while, but over time people trusted an elevator without a person, and for those who missed that phase from manual to automatic, perhaps we’d not want to get in if there was someone there just to press the buttons. We adapt and change, and we change what we think is “normal.”

We trust the elevator systems. Eventually, AI might become like that, something we feel safe letting operate in the background. But getting there takes reflection and design.

Will we one day choose AI the way we choose a brand of detergent or car? Possibly. We might pick based on trust, reliability, price. There might be budget models for basic tasks, and premium ones for emotional support, coaching, or health advice. We already do a version of this when we choose the model to do our tasks and trade tokens for depth of reasoning.

Captaincy of AI is choosing the intelligence for the job, not surrendering yours.

AI could assist us the way a great intern might. It can already help write, research, organize, and even think alongside us. It can help with structure: be a devil’s advocate and point out what we can review. It helps me say what I mean, in my own voice.

The risk, of course, is when the intern stops taking orders and starts taking over.

Today, many AI systems are built with monetization in mind. The more they know about us, the better they can sell to us. That means our goals can get distorted. We think AI is helping us find truth or clarity, but behind the scenes, it’s likely optimizing for engagement, conversion, or profit.

Captaincy means staying conscious of that drift.

We’ve already adapted to rapid change. We’ve found ways to communicate across cultures, build global teams, and live more hybrid lives. AI is one more change like that. It will shape our future either way, so what matters is how much we choose to shape it back.

Captaincy of AI is about creating boundaries and building partnerships. It’s knowing when to let it help, and when to say no. It’s about defining what we value, then using AI to amplify that, not override it.

As Jon Kabat-Zinn put it, we can’t stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.

Key Thoughts

Captaincy of AI means intentional engagement, not avoidance.

AI is already embedded in our lives, and pretending it’s neutral or optional is a myth. To lead in this space, we must define our values and steer accordingly.

We’re building relationships with AI, whether we mean to or not.

Just like with money or pets, our emotional and practical dynamics with AI are evolving. The goal is to shape those relationships consciously, not unconsciously adapt to them.

Let AI amplify what matters to you, not hijack it.

Used well, AI can extend our capability, focus, and creativity. But we must stay vigilant. Its incentives might not always align with our best interests.

Try It: An AI Audit

Take a pause and check out the influence AI has in your day-to-day life. Here are some ways to rethink the relationship.

• Define your AI boundaries. List three areas in your life where you’re happy to delegate to AI (e.g., proofreading, scheduling, summarizing). Now write down three areas where you want to stay fully human-led. This gives you a practical sense of what your captaincy looks like.

• Ask AI to serve your goals, not shape them. Before using AI, state your purpose clearly. For example, “Help me clarify my thinking,” or “Give me a starting point, not the final say.” This keeps you in the driver’s seat, even when you’re being assisted.

• Run an “AI influence check.” Look back at a recent decision you made: purchasing something, planning something, or forming an opinion. How much of it was influenced by AI-driven suggestions? Try doing the same task again without AI and compare the outcome. Notice what changed.

• Choose your AI like a team member. Next time you use an AI tool, imagine hiring it. What role is it playing? What values matter: speed, accuracy, ethics, privacy? Choose your tools like you’d choose a person to work with: not just on skills, but on alignment.